I have learned many things over the last several years. To collectively list them or write them all down is a task I won’t even attempt. A few of those things have shown up on a recurring basis, settling into a deep place in my soul. I don’t know why. Maybe they were catchy lessons. Maybe I never really learned them. Maybe my life is such that I need to be constantly reminded of some things more than others.
The first of those is simple, self-explanatory, and powerful—at least it is for me.
I remember the moment so well. I was directing a play during my senior year in college. I found friends around campus who could take all the parts in this play—the acting, lighting, producing, directing, etc. This play would be the culmination of my work in communication arts and theatre. I casted 6-7 friends and acquaintances, and we rehearsed together several evenings for a month or so. One night, I walked back across campus with a young lady who lived in the sorority house next door. Ours was a simple, casual friendship. And as we strolled from the theatre building to the dorms, without warning or prompting, this young lady simply looked over and said these words . . .
“There is no softer pillow than a clean conscience.”
I cannot tell you how or why, but that moment had a profound impact on me. Time and time again, both in warning and as a reminder, this simple phrase has crept into my mind. I find it so very, very true. For as much as we mask our feelings, our sins, our scars, and our hurts, we do, in fact, have to live with our choices. And though we have become masters of the mask in public, the stirring of our spirits when it is just us and the calm, dark solitude is often more than our hearts and minds can take. Sleepless nights are so abundant in our world that we have pills and meds and liquids and music and devices that “help” us sleep. I know that sometimes insomnia is simply insomnia, but for many people, if they are at all like me, sleepless and or restless nights are a product of a stirring conscience, a restless heart, and a conflicted soul.
There is no softer pillow than a clean conscience. Sleep well.